Holier Than Thou

When I traipse through my thoughts,
Straight into my heart,
I am drowned by my feelings.
The others seem so, insignificant.
As though those years barely existed.
She takes over everything.

I think of her when I wake,
When I play out every day,
And when I sleep. She haunts my dreams.
She has no idea of her power.
How she distracts me, plagues me.
Renders me powerless.

No other has even come close,
To those I am sorry for their wasted time.
I knew I could never love them,
Not whilst she was still in my life.
Neither knew until it was too late.
How heavy this burden has been.

I have never been one for apologies,
I have spun arguments, twisted truths,
Shattered the feelings of others.
Just because I could not bear the waiting,
Too scared to know your decision.
Too worried about either outcome.

They were both right, every single time.
I made them feel like they were wrong.
Haven’t you noticed I am ‘Holier Than Thou?’
My feet always stay in line.
You must have made a mistake.
But, don’t worry, I was the only one left bruised.

-@little_speaks