At 18 I stumbled upon my Oil,
The substance required to soothe the momentum.
Unleashing something I had longed for,
I soon became addicted to the effect.
The reaction that slowly ripples through me.
The freedom that is soon granted, the rarity,
I am scared of it taking hold.
It was the first time I felt relief,
From the complexities in my mind.
A weight had been lifted & my shoulders felt light.
My opinions had never felt so crystal.
My decisions never so securely formed.
The only point I am able to reach out.
This Oil flows through my body,
It hits every ache, every pain,
Every emotion, feeling, thought & memory.
Finally I feel the mechanical workings of my mind.
The structure I have longed for.
But in the morning the pain returns.
I must battle through another day.
Oil comes at a price, peace comes at a greater price.
A price that I am not able to pay.
My mind & thoughts shall remain.
The obscure will stay hidden, for ease.
The pain will be my penance,
For those I have fooled, those I have wronged.
Forgive me, my mind is just a machine.
-@little_speaks
littlespeaks.com 